Nintendo Direct 11/12/15 Reaction

Instead of giving a blow by blow description of the direct (which you can watch here), I thought I would give some of my thoughts about certain games that were (or weren’t) shown.

Zelda

There were tons of Zelda announcements. The one that stuck out for me was Twilight Princess HD amiibo bundle. The game itself has been rumored for a while now, so that wasn’t too surprising, but the wolf amiibo it comes with certainly was – very cool!

However, the fact that they only showed about 5 seconds of footage for Zelda Wii U further cements my notion that it’ll end up being an NX launch title. Disappointing that they didn’t talk about it more.

Pokemon

Pokemon had plenty of screen time as well. Pokken, a Tekken-like fighting game, looks promising as well as Pokemon Picross. The star of the show of course are the upcoming virtual console releases of Blue, Red, and Yellow. While there are roms readily available for these titles, the eshop versions allow you to trade Pokemon with friends just like in the original release. Some Pokemon can only be obtained by trading with friends, so unaltered roms will lock you out of obtaining them. I’m personally excited to play through Pokemon Blue again.

Dragon Quest

Western Dragon Quest fans have it quite rough to say the least. There have been over half a dozen Dragon Quest releases on the Nintendo 3ds that have not been localized. In fact, I strongly considered importing a Japanese 3ds just so I could play them. You can only imagine how excited I was when I saw that not one but two are getting localized next year: Dragon Quest VII and Dragon Quest VIII. Words cannot describe how excited I am for them.

Super Smash Bros

Many people were expecting Super Smash Bros news and boy did we get it. Cloud from Final Fantasy VII has been confirmed as an upcoming playable character. While Final Fantasy VII itself never made it to a Nintendo platform, Cloud has appeared in several Nintendo based games like Final Fantasy Theatrhythm and Kingdom Hearts Chain of Memories among others. VII is one of my favorites of the series, so he is a more than welcome addition in my book. There’s also a new stage based off of the city of Midgar – can’t wait to play it.

Metroid

I haven’t made this very apparent on here yet, but I am a huge Metroid fan. I would go as far to say that it’s my favorite video game franchise ever and Zero Mission is my favorite game ever made. The series has been placed on a back burner ever since Other M flopped both commercially and critically (I honestly enjoyed it more than most people). There has been the occasional virtual console release, Nintendoland minigame, and cameo appearance (Dead or Alive Dimensions, Smash Bros, etc.), but there hasn’t been a new standalone release since 2010. Last E3, Metroid Federation Force was announced and garnered an overwhelmingly negative reaction. In fact, 20,000 people signed a petition to cancel the project within three days of the announcement, and the Youtube trailer has over 80,000 dislikes.

So what I’m trying to get at is there was absolutely no mention of Metroid in the direct. Nintendo showed off material they’re planning to release next year, so why wasn’t Federation Force shown in more detail? It leads me to believe that its either been cancelled or will re-emerge in a heavily altered state later on.

Video Games I’m Looking Forward To

The year is slowly coming to an end, but video games just keep on coming. November is usually a huge month for the medium as stores gear up for the upcoming holidays. I thought I would talk a little bit about some of the releases I’m looking forward to.

Fallout 4 is a release many people are excited for, me included. In fact, many people already have their copies even though its official release date it tomorrow (Nov. 10th). I personally didn’t preorder it since I’ll most likely be able to just walk on in and purchase one of the many available copies. Fallout 3 was one of the first PS3 titles I played, and I had an absolute blast playing it. For those who don’t know, the Fallout series is a Western RPG series that uses guns and similar modern equipment rather than the tried and true medieval weaponry seen in the majority of Western RPGs. Choice, free exploration, and customization are some of its key features. I’ve done a good job of avoiding spoilers, so I’m going into it blind for the most part – can’t wait!

 

Xenoblade Chronicles X is a followup to the cult classic Wii title. I bought both the original Wii release and the 3ds re-release on launch day, so it’s needless to say that I’m extremely excited for this. The original game has been described as an offline MMO RPG, and this is at least partially true. Instead of being purely turn based, the player can directly control where the character moves within battle (like Final Fantasy 12, but this blows it straight out of the water). The story was refreshing and the campaign was lengthy (it took me around 90 hours to complete my first playthrough). I have the collector’s edition of X preordered – I have high expectations for it.

I have to admit that I really don’t know much about Trails of Cold Steel or the Legends of Heroes series as a whole, but I have heard nothing but praise for the previous releases – especially Trails in the Sky for the PSP. I thought it was about time to check the series out. I watched gameplay footage from this year’s E3, and the game seemed right up my alley. The gameplay seems to be turn based and has an emphasis on location and teammate pairing. I have the limited edition preordered and can’t wait to play it next month!

Top Ten Favorite Angry Video Game Nerd Episodes

Please be advised that this article will contain a lot of profanity given the subject matter.

James Rolfe, the Angry Video Game Nerd, was one of the first breakthrough successes back when Youtube was still new. He has created many amateur films over the years and has continued making new web shows as well as a full feature length film starring his Nerd character. His website,  Cinemassacre, has most of his material available at any given time.

Even though he has many favorites such as Board James and You Know What’s Bullshit?, his most popular show by far is the Angry Video Game Nerd which  has continued for at least 137 episodes. This isn’t even including his side videos that feature the character.

So what makes Rolfe’s character so popular even to this day? It’s a combination of overall influence, special brand of humor, and filmmaker sensibilities. Retro gaming became huge after his video games became popular and countless Youtube channels have cited Rolfe as a direct influence to their shows. His style of humor incorporates somewhat juvenile gross-out humor with witty banter thrown into the mix.

So what is the show exactly about? Well it features a stereotypical nerd who wears white collar shirts and obsesses over gaming gadgets. The character recalls his childhood experiences with below terribly made games and drowns his sorrows by drinking Rolling Rock beer. His mission statement is to warn you about awful video games so you don’t have to personally play them yourself. His over the top reactions to the games he plays is a huge draw to the show as he acts legitimately tortured by playing below average NES games. Exaggerated, angry reactions is the show’s bread and butter.

Now that I’ve given a little overview of the show it’s time to introduce my top 10 favorite episodes. This was extremely hard for me to do since there are so many classic episodes to choose from. I made a list of episodes I would consider putting in the top 10 out of the 137 he’s made, and I still had to dwindle those choices down from around 50 to 10! I know some of his classic episodes are missing (TMNT for example, it barely just didn’t make it), but this isn’t meant to be a definitive list – they’re just the episodes I enjoy the most.

10 – Little Red Hood (Episode 83)

Summary: A review of an unlicensed NES game loosely based on the fairy tale Little Red Riding Hood.

Favorite Quotes:

“It’s just, so random… Y’know, how many times have I used the word “random” and “appear?” But that’s exactly what’s happening. Stuff appears or doesn’t appear, or randomly does something else. I feel like a guinea pig in an experiment where they’re testing the effects of negative reinforcement, let’s see what happens if we take the key away… It’s 20 years late, but whoever you are, and if you wanna know what the effect is, I’ll tell you the effect: IT’S FUCKING PISSING ME OFF!”

“You wanna know how I feel now? I’m fucking enraged! You don’t just change the rules like that!! This is shit sauce! This is Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde standards! And I’m still playing it. I don’t even know why. I guess I can’t resist being able to say “I beat Little Red Hood!” And you know what? I don’t expect a good ending either. Why work hard on creating an elaborate ending when you make the game so hard to figure out that there’s not a chance in hell anyone would get that far? In fact, I expect a shitty ending! A fucking loathsome, ass-sucking SHIT HEAP of an ending!”

“Oh! My dear Little Red Hood! Thank you for your coming!”

9 – Spiderman (Episode 24)

Summary: The Nerd plays various Spiderman games with Kyle Justin (the guitarist in the intro) who plays the role of Spiderman.

Favorite Quotes:

Spiderman: “THIS GAME SUCKS MY SPIDER BALLS!”

The Nerd: You delivered pizzas before though, right?

Spider-Man: No, no, no, I never did that.

The Nerd: Yeah, you did in the movie, Spider-Man 2.

Spider-Man: I did that at one point, but I don’t want people fucking knowing about that.

8 – Action 52 (Episode 90)

Summary: This episode clocks in at just under a half an hour. He attempts to review all 52 games contained this half baked compilation. However, the 52nd game, Cheetahmen, is covered in a separate, following review.

Favorite Quotes:

Critical Bypass – it’s critical that you bypass this game!

I guess I can’t say I’m really too excited over playing a game called Alfredo, also known as Alfred N the Fettuc

Here comes Mrs. Tits, jumping like she’s on the moon!

If only Mico-Mike would slow the fuck down

I guess this guy doesn’t understand the concept of a hooker – you’re supposed to fuck her not fuck her up

7 – Dracula (Episode 57)

Summary: A Halloween special where he plays various Dracula games.

Favorite Quotes:

Game: Use 1 or 2 words only

Nerd: Oh okay, I’ll give you two words: fuck you!

Game: Does not know how to “fuck” something

Who would call Dracula “my man?”

“It’s like somebody took a shit and buried it and then someone else decided to dig it up. It’s like what do you expect?”

“Fred Fush.. Fred Fuch… FRED FUCKS!? Oh my God it’s Fred Fucks…”

“Is that clip even from the movie? I don’t know, maybe it’s from Bill and Ted”

“Why do so many games have so many fucking bats!?”

6 – Bible Games (Episode 17)

(I couldn’t find a title card for the first volume, so I used the card for Bible Games 2)

Summary: He mostly focuses on unlicensed Christian based NES games for his first Christmas special.

Favorite Quotes:

“Is that how Noah did it? He did it all by himself by picking animals up and carrying them in the ark? Well according to Bible Adventures, that’s how it happened.”

“Ugggh, take that you monkey fuck – you’re going in the ark!”

“What kind of picture is this? Moses’ mom carrying baby Moses, carrying a block of cheese, carrying a guy, carrying a spear. I’d never thought I’d see that.”

“The only way to have any fun at all is to throw baby Moses in the water, and then go explore the level without him. This is a weird game. What other game could you say, “I just threw baby Moses in the water”. For some reason, I just can’t stop saying, “baby Moses”. Baby Moses, baby Moses. When you finish the level, it says, “Good work! But you forgot baby Moses.” I didn’t forget him, I just didn’t want him.”

“Look, a snowman. Watch this. I’m gonna blow his fucking head off. Yeah, that snowman’s dead as shit.”

“It’s The Book of Genesis on Sega Genesis. And the soundtrack… is Genesis… I’m just making this up.”

“Now, let’s try Flight to Egypt… It’s bad.”

5 – Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde Re-Revisited (Episode 95)

Summary: Unhappy with his original review of the game, he goes back and reviews it a second time with a more in depth analysis.

Favorite Quotes:

“I can say the game is very true to the original title of the book, The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, because this game is certainly a very strange case, indeed!”

“What did the good doctor do to make everybody so upset? I can see the townspeople sittin’ at the local pub, talkin’ about him all day. “Yeah, ya see Jekyll, ya see him? Ya see him walkin’, he just keeps fuckin’ walking! I don’t like him. Think he’s an asshole. He wears his underwear backwards. He has eyeballs for testicles!”

“I killed a bee?! I killed something! The only thing you can kill in the whole game, and it’s a little tiny stupid FUCKING BEE! “

“Oh, great. Now there’s birds shitting into the piss fountain. This is perfect. Look at this picture. This sums up the whole game.”

“ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON! YOU RUINED MY LIFE!”

Skeleton of Robert Louis Stevenson: Fuck you… I am the devil! MUHAHAHA! Now go play some Dr. Jekyll and Mr. HYDE!!

*Goes on for five minutes about how it’s actually the best game ever made* Or, you could just say, “THE GAME FUCKING SUCKS.”

4 – Batman Part 1 (Episode 52)

Summary: Dressed like Batman, the Nerd reviews various Batman games before getting captured by the Joker (Mike Matei) at the end of the episode (which leads into Batman part 2).

Favorite Quotes:

“The game sucks, gotta give it the Batman punishment. I’m Batman.“

“Batman Forever for the Super Nintendo. Now we’re in deep shit, because this game is triceratops testicles.”

“You try every possible combination of buttons until you find that Select shoots this wire out of your crotch. That’s real random, right? The SELECT button?”

“Look at that, chainsaw to the dick!”

LIKE THIS IS FUCKED BEYOND BELIEF! It’s like, the controls in this game are something you do for a cheat code, not a BASIC MOVE that you have to do in order to play the game! Why’d they program it in such an ASSININE, BALL-BRAINED, COCKAMAMIE, RIDICULOUS FASHION?! It’s like, JEEZ, there’s four buttons’ right on front of the controller! LIKE THAT’S NOT ENOUGH TO WORK WITH?! Instead, they have to, like, program it, like, all into like, weird kinda crazy button combinations and shit?! It’s like, what were they thinking?! It’s like, Up is jump? Select for the grappling hook? Select shouldn’t even be part of the game! Select should be like, for the menus or something. I mean, jeez, like were they trying to just ruin this game? Just flat out, just fuck it up?! Well, they DID! Batman Forever, it sucked back then, and it sucks forever!

3 – Wizard of Oz (Episode 43)

Summary: He reviews The Wizard of Oz on the Super Nintendo as the lion (who is played by Mike Matei) joins in.

Favorite Quotes:

“Why does Glinda have such disregard for Dorothy’s safety? Having the ruby slippers makes her the target of the Wicked Witch. It’s not like Dorothy asked for the damn slippers. Also, why doesn’t she just tell her she can click her heels and go home right away? Fucking bitch.”

“Then, there’s lemons dropping down. You know, like in the lyrics of “Somewhere over the Rainbow?” The lemon drops? That’s fuckin’ desperate.”

“Remember the scene from the movie where Dorothy kicks the shit out of a giant crow wearing a vest?”

“Now, Tin Man, what a miserable fuck. He raises the shittiness to a whole new level. He can’t duck or jump at all. That fucking helps, right? Why not make a character in a platforming jumping game that can’t jump? HE’S USELESS! A COMPLETE WASTE!”

The Nerd: Now, here’s how the lion works in the game: now, as far as the attacks go, he, has like this weird bitch slap.

Cowardly Lion: With a nuck and a ruff and a fuck and a f-fuck!

The Nerd: Hey man, did you just swear?

Cowardly Lion: Uh, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, fuck you, fuck you, dick, dick, dick! 

Cowardly Lion: Oh, is that the Witch? Is that the witch? She’s a bitch, not a witch! Yeah! Now, Shove her broom right up her ass! Fuck that bitch! Fuck that bitch! Fuck! Wicked Witch of the East, Wicked Witch of the West, Wicked Witch of my ass.

Cowardly Lion: Yeah, what’s that green thing?

The Nerd: That green- I don’t know what th–

The Nerd: Oh, that big emerald is a door?

Cowardly Lion: Yeah, yeah, what are you? Stupid?

2 – Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties (Episode 74)

Summary: The AVGN looks for the worst 3DO game ever and chooses Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties – a primitive adult oriented choose your own adventure styled game.

Favorite Quotes:

“That was its slogan, REAL, because it’s a real piece of shit.”

“Get it?” No I don’t get it!”

“Why would there ever be a floating head of a panda next to someone’s bed?!”

“Get out of bed John! Yeah, great concept. Every game should begin with two minutes of some guy’s mom trying to get him out of bed.”

“Oh, so is he a plumber? Well, the game’s called Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties, so I guess it makes sense: he’s a plumber, and I don’t see him wearing a tie… WHAT THE FUCK?! You can’t even trust the damn title!”

“TAKE YOUR DAMN CLOTHES OFF!!!”

A fucking chicken mask! An upside-down fucking chicken mask!

Well, sport? You think you can handle this choice without getting the lowest score in the history of this game?

What, there’s somebody else who played this shit?

There’s dogs clapping! I didn’t even know that dogs were fucking watching!

IT’S NOT… FUCKING… NIGHT!

Yeah, you know what? Gimme something different. Gimme a different fucking game. 

1 – Winter Games (Episode 84)

Summary: The Nerd reviews Winter Games and decides that it has some of the worst controls he’s ever encountered in a video game.

Favorite Quotes:

If you have a problem with Happy Holidays, then Happy Shut The Fuck Up.

Alright, the game boots up and the runner comes to light an Olympic torch. Yeah, cool. Can I skip it?

The first event is called Hot Dog Aerials. I wonder what that could be. Oh, Ski Jump. Okay. Why is called Hot Dog Aerials?

Next is Speed Skating. I’m surprised it’s not called Cat Tit Bingo.

How do you like that music? Listen. Exquisite. Isn’t that the most beautiful, radiant sound that has ever been blessed upon your soul? Its exuberant tonality harmoniously blends the dying squeals of electronic goats, with the melodic rapture of diarrhea bubbling from a coyote’s crap-hole.

You ever watch a movie where someone’s pretending to play a video game, but you can tell they’re just acting, they’re just go like this? They’re playing Winter Games.

Who programmed this thing? Maybe it was Fred Fuchs.

THIS IS A BLIZZARD OF BALLS!

BURN, MOTHERFUCKER, BURN!

These transcripts come from the AVGN wikia here: http://avgn.wikia.com/wiki/Category:Transcripts  – Thanks and great job!

My Favorite Music Releases of the Decade

While the previous decade was great in its own right, I’d argue that the 2010s blow it out of the water. In this article, I’ll focus on four of my favorite releases from this decade.

The Big Blue / There is a Light in You – SULK

I usually don’t pay much mind to singles, but this one is a special case. Most modern singles come with one song that usually ends up on the album anyway. While The Big Blue ended up on their debut album Graceless, the b side, There Is a Light in You, is only available through this single. SULK draws inspiration from the late 80s/early 90s baggy and madchester scenes as well as shoegaze, biritpop, and neo-psychedelia. They have often been compared to The Stone Roses, and I think that is a fair comparison.

The Big Blue is by far my favorite song from their debut album, and the b side is exceptional and could’ve fit perfectly onto the album. Clocking in at around seven and a half minutes, this single perfectly showcases the band’s highlights in a tight and convenient package. They’re currently working on a sophomore album and recently released a single titled Black Infinity (Upside Down).

jumping off a building – father figure

father figure is a screamo (the offshoot of emotive hardcore, not the bastardized term for mediocre metalcore) band from Texas who shares members and influence with Flesh Born, Innards, and Two Knights among others. The music has a distinct influence from Midwest Emo from bands like Snowing, and it also has a hint of math rock as well. The ep has a run time of just under 10 minutes and contains no choruses for the most part. Just a quick shot of perfect screamo.

They released a demo, an album, an ep, and a split with Marcy before their demise in 2013. Even though new content hasn’t been released, they have occasionally played shows and had a discography compilation released on cassette through the Friendly Otter label. If you can’t get enough of the band (as their total output is only around 40 minutes), I’d highly suggest looking into the member’s other projects, this ep by Two Knights in particular was recorded the same year and has a similar sound.

Good Vibes – William Bonney

William Bonney was formed 2010 and features members from the band Merchant Ships. Both bands are similar to father figure since there is a heavy emphasis on midwest emo, but I’d argue that William Bonney has more post-hardcore influence within their music. Good Vibes is around twice the length of jumping off a building and this time allows the songs to develop further. Extremely catchy, heartfelt, and well worth your time.

The band unfortunately broke up in 2013. Fret not though, several other bands share the same members and influence as well. Some examples are Park Jefferson, Knola, Midwest Pen Pals, and Knuckle Puck. These have a lot less emphasis on screamo and are generally more midwest emo oriented though.

The Powers That B – Death Grips

I saved my favorite of the bunch for last! I’ve actually awarded two Death Grips albums a 5/5: this and No Love Deep Web. I thought I would put more of an emphasis on The Powers That B since I love them both for more or less the same reason musically, and I have a bit more to talk about when it comes to TPTB. Both are exceptional releases though.

Death Grips is an experimental hip hop that incorporates many electronic and punk elements into it’s music. They randomly released an album titled Niggas On the Moon on June 9th 2014 and explained that it was only the first part of a double album named The Powers That B. The second half, Jenny Death, was promised to be released later in the year. Niggas on the Moon is an incredibly original album. Each song focuses on irregular beats and incorporates samples of the famous singer Bjork. I love how each song meshes into each other in a sort of Abbey Road-like style. While many hip hop releases are tainted by unnecessary skits, I’d argue that NOTM doesn’t have a single dull or out of place moment. There isn’t a single thing I’d change about this album.

So Niggas on the Moon quickly became my favorite release of the 2010s, and there was another half of the album yet to be released! Needless to say, I was extremely hyped for Jenny Death and so were other Death Grips fans. Many people showed tons of interest in the album even though only the name had been announced. In a surprising turn of events, Death Grips had announced just a month after release that they had broken up, but still planned to release the followup later that year.

A few months later, the covers for both Jenny Death and the complete album, The Powers That B, were showcased through their Facebook page. Many people speculated on where the photographs were taken and if they could lead to a clue about the album’s release date. I remember people distinctly saying it was going to be released on the night of the blood moon among other insane predictions.

Well the new year started and fans were pissed that the album wasn’t released as promised. However, they released an instrumental album titled Fashion Week on January 4th. The names of the songs: Runway J, Runway E, Runway N, etc. spelled the phrase “JENNY DEATH WHEN“, which had previously been an inside joke among fans. This fueled the flames of course and prompted exploration of the upcoming fashion week in order to find clues about the release. On March 16th they did the most unexpected thing ever: traditionally announced its release date as March 31st, almost a full year after their previous installment. Even though the entire piece hadn’t been released yet, two singles for the album were released just ahead of this announcement and the third was released at the end of 2014.

The album as a whole finally leaked on March 19th 2015, and the wait was well worth it. While being tied to Niggas on the Moon, Jenny Death has a completely different sound. The music has a larger emphasis on guitars rather than electonics and irregular drumming patterns. I personally prefer NOTM, but Jenny Death does contain some of their best work. Shortly after the leak they announced a new tour and that they may indeed make more music. Later in 2015 they released a side project album as The I.L.Y’s. Even more recently, they announced a full new project titled Bottomless Pit.

Well there you have it. Since I only included 5/5 releases, there are obviously 4.5/5 albums I didn’t talk about. You can see those below as well as my 5/5 albums from the previous decades.

Albums I’ve Given a 5/5 To (Most Recent to Oldest)

My Ratings From This Decade (Highest to Lowest)

The Sony PSP is STILL Getting New Releases!

It’s mind blowing that the PSP is still getting new releases!

The Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky The Second Chapter, developed by Falcom and published Xseed in North America, just came out a couple of days ago on PlayStation Network. It’s also on Steam as well if you’re interested.

Summon Night 5 (above) and Class of Heroes 3 (below) are scheduled for release and are localized by Gaijinworks, which is headed by Victor Ireland.

Victor Ireland previously worked for Working Designs and localized some of the best RPGs for the Turbo Duo, Sega CD, Sega Saturn, and PS1/2.

Even though many people think the Vita is dead in the West, it looks like it will get the same continued support as its predecessor and will likely outlive the Nintendo 3ds and Wii U (I’d love it if they had long lifespans, but it seems like the upcoming NX will eat their sales and support if judging Nintendo’s past), especially if it’s Sony’s last handheld ever. Even this year alone Vita has had at least 17 physical North American releases while Wii U has had around 6. (Judging by a quick scan at Gamerankings)

Long live the PSP and Vita!