Best Album and Video Game of the Year So Far

We are around 3/4’s of the way through 2016 and there has been a ton of great video game and music releases. Today I’ll talk a little bit about both my favorite album and my favorite video game of 2016.

I’ll first start with Monster Hunter Generations. The game is a semi-sequel to last year’s Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate. Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate was probably my favorite game of 2015 along with Splatoon, so it’s no surprise that Generations is also a quality title. It incorporates many elements such as locations and bosses from the previous portable Monster Hunter titles while also bringing new things to the table as well. For example, there are now different Hunter Styles that allow you to customize your character even further by adding abilities like jumping into the mix. I personally have stuck with the traditional Guild Style. I have already poured countless hours into the title and it has only been out since July! The series may be a bit hard for newcomers to get into, but the difficulty curve is definitely worth it in the long run. I’d highly recommend this game and pretty much any other game in the series.

Deakin’s first solo album was definitely worth the wait. He had been working on it ever since he crowd funded for it’s completion way back in 2009. The album is only just over a half an hour, but I feel like that makes it even better. There is absolutely no filler on this release and it’s an album I can listen to several times in a row which is somewhat rare for me. Deakin is mostly known for his contributions to the group Animal Collective, and I would honestly say this release is better than any Animal Collective album. The album is a neo-psychedelic record with plenty of psychedelic folk influence. The majority of the songs are long with a few interlude-like tracks here and there. The longer tracks never overstay their welcome and the shorter tracks are also essential to the listening experience. Deakin really surprised me with this release and he is now my favorite member of Animal Collective because of it. He has a beautiful voice and should be featured more in the forefront on future group releases. As it is, the only physical version of Sleep Cycle is a cassette version only given to crowd funding backers. This is somewhat of a shame as I would love to own this on either CD or vinyl.

So there we have it. These are definitely the biggest highlights of the year for me. However, the year is not over yet. Will other new releases top these by the end year? Only time will tell. Thank you for reading and stay tuned for more!

A Salute to Classic Game Room

Classic Game Room is a video game review show that covers both retro and modern titles. It also has the distinction of being one of the first shows of its kind.  The original lineup of Mark Bussler (left below) and David Crosson (right below) ran from late 1999 to mid 2000 – years before Youtube!

The show was extremely low budget – $50 an episode. This usually meant the budget was used to buy the reviewed game, but sometimes they’d review an old Atari 7800 or Sega Genesis game Mark had laying around. The show ended prematurely because the host website, FromUSAlive, was shut down. They made around 40 reviews during this period.

After the cancellation, Mark and Dave split their separate ways. Mark made several documentaries while Dave focused on school. In 2007, Mark released a satirical documentary about his old gaming show titled: Classic Game Room: The Rise and Fall of the Internet’s Greatest Video Game Review Show. Interest of the show prompted him to reboot it on the somewhat new Youtube platform. Classic Game Room HD has been both Mark’s major focus and income source since then.

CGR Undertow was launched in 2010 as a sister channel and featured several different reviewers including TJ (left) and Derek (right). The channel has officially stopped making content as of December 17th 2015 due to a complete restructure of Classic Game Room.

Since rebooting the channel in 2008, Mark has not only covered video games, he has also reviewed things such as toys, food, and pinball machines. The show even lead to the creation of it’s own website that has an extensive database and forums. However, on November 2nd 2015, he announced that the current form of the show would be ending, but he’ll continue to review games as a side project while he works towards his new career of writing and film making. He has stated that the first incarnation of the show was from 1999-2000, the second is from 2008-2015, and the upcoming form of the show will be the third or “Mark III” alluding to the Sega Mark III.

On December 31st Mark announced an upcoming Patreon campaign that will determine what becomes of the show. It may be a hobby as stated before, but he said that if it does really well it might become a part or even full time affair. He’s also working on a podcast and a movie as well. The full details of the campaign will go up on January 7th.

I started watching the show around 2010. I had just graduated from high school and was becoming more and more interested in retro gaming. Many Youtubers stick with only reviewing games on Nintendo platforms, so Mark stood out from the crowd by reviewing a variety of consoles from companies like Sega, NEC, and SNK. I ended up buying a Sega Saturn, NES, and Sega Dreamcast among other things around this time. Mark also introduced me to things I may have not known much about otherwise including space ship shooters (aka Shmups) and pinball machines.

Mark’s reviewing style is very casual and is usually an overview of the game rather than being a critical point system analysis. Many other reviewers look for the bad aspects of a game while Mark tries to find good aspects within everything he reviews. He’ll occasionally run into something that he absolutely hates (especially the Game.com), but he generally likes anything he can get his hands on.

Classic Game Room has been a huge influence on me and I wish it continued success with the advent of the newly announced Patreon campaign. No matter the outcome, I’ll always continue to support Classic Game Room in any way I can. Cheers and happy new year – Truxton and beer for all!

Divine Sealing Review

The Sega Mega Drive (Genesis in the US) is home to many great shoot em ups (shmups). Divine Sealing is not one of them. It is definitely the worst stand alone shooter on the Mega Drive (Action 52 is probably worse, but there are other types of games thrown into the mix as well).

Divine Sealing was an unlicensed game released only in Japan that was published by CYX and was developed by  Studio Fazzy in 1991. As far as I can tell, this is the only game both companies ever worked on. I’m not exactly sure what the story is since I don’t know Japanese, but the main premise is that there are 5 levels, and after completing each level, a girl strips down completely naked. Yes, there’s a Sega Genesis game with full nudity (aside from their Barbie-like crotches).

Imagine if this was actually released in America when Night Trap caused such a stir. The scene below is what had parents flustered, and the game even helped solidify the ESRB video game rating system. This is extremely tame compared to  Divine Sealing.

So how does the actual gameplay suffice? Well, it’s absolutely bare bones and way too simplistic. There are absolutely no powerups or secondary attacks. I once found a way to shoot the standard bullets in two different directions, but I can’t figure out for the life of me how I did it. I think it had something to do with the basic scoring system that gives you an extra life every time you get 10,000 points. It doesn’t matter though since the game is extremely easy compared to other games in its genre – the standard weapon is all you need. Another complaint I have is that there is little reason to move all around the screen when you can easily win by staying on the bottom while swaying left and right. The only time I found myself moving around is during the boss battles. Speaking of boss battles, when I got to the first boss I finally realized that there isn’t any collision damage in the game. You can literally move your ship through the boss without losing a life. Bullets are the only thing in the game that can hurt you since there aren’t any obstacles to avoid within the levels.

 

The graphics range from mediocre to absolutely atrocious. Imagine the above image in motion – it actually made me feel sick while playing. The animations are generally average with one giant exception. Below is the second boss of the game. At first glance it doesn’t seem too horrible, but the way it moves is jarringly bad.

In a normal game the boss would move to the second location through animation, but here it jumps from location to location without any transition. It looks like one of those 90s Tiger Electronics toys. The Tiger games are somewhat excusable due to their relative inexpensiveness, but Divine Sealing was a full fledged retail release on the Sega Mega Drive that probably cost around $50-$70 back in the day.

In contrast to this, the undressing scenes are well drawn and are almost Sega CD quality. It’s completely obvious that they drew these scenes out and then came up with the rest of the game afterwards. They knew who their target audience was and knew they’d buy the game for these scenes alone. To make this fact even more obvious, there’s only two cheat codes for the game: one that gives the character invisibility and one that flat out skips you forward to the next stripping scene. You know, in case you don’t actually feel like playing this awful game.

Now is there anything I actually like about this game? The music is actually decent enough – it definitely sounds like a Mega Drive game. The sound effects on the other hand sound like they were taken from an Atari 2600 game. It’s a shame that the screeching sound effects drown out the alright soundtrack.

In conclusion, I wouldn’t recommend this game to anyone unless they just wanted to get a kick out of how bad it is. The gameplay is overly simplistic and it gets completely overshadowed by its adult content. I would honestly say that it is one of the worst games I’ve ever played. Divine Sealing is quite the sight to behold though – it essentially falls into the “so bad it’s good” category.

If you do decide to play it, make sure you play something awesome like Fire Shark afterwards so you can get that bad taste out of your mouth!

Nintendo Direct 11/12/15 Reaction

Instead of giving a blow by blow description of the direct (which you can watch here), I thought I would give some of my thoughts about certain games that were (or weren’t) shown.

Zelda

There were tons of Zelda announcements. The one that stuck out for me was Twilight Princess HD amiibo bundle. The game itself has been rumored for a while now, so that wasn’t too surprising, but the wolf amiibo it comes with certainly was – very cool!

However, the fact that they only showed about 5 seconds of footage for Zelda Wii U further cements my notion that it’ll end up being an NX launch title. Disappointing that they didn’t talk about it more.

Pokemon

Pokemon had plenty of screen time as well. Pokken, a Tekken-like fighting game, looks promising as well as Pokemon Picross. The star of the show of course are the upcoming virtual console releases of Blue, Red, and Yellow. While there are roms readily available for these titles, the eshop versions allow you to trade Pokemon with friends just like in the original release. Some Pokemon can only be obtained by trading with friends, so unaltered roms will lock you out of obtaining them. I’m personally excited to play through Pokemon Blue again.

Dragon Quest

Western Dragon Quest fans have it quite rough to say the least. There have been over half a dozen Dragon Quest releases on the Nintendo 3ds that have not been localized. In fact, I strongly considered importing a Japanese 3ds just so I could play them. You can only imagine how excited I was when I saw that not one but two are getting localized next year: Dragon Quest VII and Dragon Quest VIII. Words cannot describe how excited I am for them.

Super Smash Bros

Many people were expecting Super Smash Bros news and boy did we get it. Cloud from Final Fantasy VII has been confirmed as an upcoming playable character. While Final Fantasy VII itself never made it to a Nintendo platform, Cloud has appeared in several Nintendo based games like Final Fantasy Theatrhythm and Kingdom Hearts Chain of Memories among others. VII is one of my favorites of the series, so he is a more than welcome addition in my book. There’s also a new stage based off of the city of Midgar – can’t wait to play it.

Metroid

I haven’t made this very apparent on here yet, but I am a huge Metroid fan. I would go as far to say that it’s my favorite video game franchise ever and Zero Mission is my favorite game ever made. The series has been placed on a back burner ever since Other M flopped both commercially and critically (I honestly enjoyed it more than most people). There has been the occasional virtual console release, Nintendoland minigame, and cameo appearance (Dead or Alive Dimensions, Smash Bros, etc.), but there hasn’t been a new standalone release since 2010. Last E3, Metroid Federation Force was announced and garnered an overwhelmingly negative reaction. In fact, 20,000 people signed a petition to cancel the project within three days of the announcement, and the Youtube trailer has over 80,000 dislikes.

So what I’m trying to get at is there was absolutely no mention of Metroid in the direct. Nintendo showed off material they’re planning to release next year, so why wasn’t Federation Force shown in more detail? It leads me to believe that its either been cancelled or will re-emerge in a heavily altered state later on.

Video Games I’m Looking Forward To

The year is slowly coming to an end, but video games just keep on coming. November is usually a huge month for the medium as stores gear up for the upcoming holidays. I thought I would talk a little bit about some of the releases I’m looking forward to.

Fallout 4 is a release many people are excited for, me included. In fact, many people already have their copies even though its official release date it tomorrow (Nov. 10th). I personally didn’t preorder it since I’ll most likely be able to just walk on in and purchase one of the many available copies. Fallout 3 was one of the first PS3 titles I played, and I had an absolute blast playing it. For those who don’t know, the Fallout series is a Western RPG series that uses guns and similar modern equipment rather than the tried and true medieval weaponry seen in the majority of Western RPGs. Choice, free exploration, and customization are some of its key features. I’ve done a good job of avoiding spoilers, so I’m going into it blind for the most part – can’t wait!

 

Xenoblade Chronicles X is a followup to the cult classic Wii title. I bought both the original Wii release and the 3ds re-release on launch day, so it’s needless to say that I’m extremely excited for this. The original game has been described as an offline MMO RPG, and this is at least partially true. Instead of being purely turn based, the player can directly control where the character moves within battle (like Final Fantasy 12, but this blows it straight out of the water). The story was refreshing and the campaign was lengthy (it took me around 90 hours to complete my first playthrough). I have the collector’s edition of X preordered – I have high expectations for it.

I have to admit that I really don’t know much about Trails of Cold Steel or the Legends of Heroes series as a whole, but I have heard nothing but praise for the previous releases – especially Trails in the Sky for the PSP. I thought it was about time to check the series out. I watched gameplay footage from this year’s E3, and the game seemed right up my alley. The gameplay seems to be turn based and has an emphasis on location and teammate pairing. I have the limited edition preordered and can’t wait to play it next month!

Top Ten Favorite Angry Video Game Nerd Episodes

Please be advised that this article will contain a lot of profanity given the subject matter.

James Rolfe, the Angry Video Game Nerd, was one of the first breakthrough successes back when Youtube was still new. He has created many amateur films over the years and has continued making new web shows as well as a full feature length film starring his Nerd character. His website,  Cinemassacre, has most of his material available at any given time.

Even though he has many favorites such as Board James and You Know What’s Bullshit?, his most popular show by far is the Angry Video Game Nerd which  has continued for at least 137 episodes. This isn’t even including his side videos that feature the character.

So what makes Rolfe’s character so popular even to this day? It’s a combination of overall influence, special brand of humor, and filmmaker sensibilities. Retro gaming became huge after his video games became popular and countless Youtube channels have cited Rolfe as a direct influence to their shows. His style of humor incorporates somewhat juvenile gross-out humor with witty banter thrown into the mix.

So what is the show exactly about? Well it features a stereotypical nerd who wears white collar shirts and obsesses over gaming gadgets. The character recalls his childhood experiences with below terribly made games and drowns his sorrows by drinking Rolling Rock beer. His mission statement is to warn you about awful video games so you don’t have to personally play them yourself. His over the top reactions to the games he plays is a huge draw to the show as he acts legitimately tortured by playing below average NES games. Exaggerated, angry reactions is the show’s bread and butter.

Now that I’ve given a little overview of the show it’s time to introduce my top 10 favorite episodes. This was extremely hard for me to do since there are so many classic episodes to choose from. I made a list of episodes I would consider putting in the top 10 out of the 137 he’s made, and I still had to dwindle those choices down from around 50 to 10! I know some of his classic episodes are missing (TMNT for example, it barely just didn’t make it), but this isn’t meant to be a definitive list – they’re just the episodes I enjoy the most.

10 – Little Red Hood (Episode 83)

Summary: A review of an unlicensed NES game loosely based on the fairy tale Little Red Riding Hood.

Favorite Quotes:

“It’s just, so random… Y’know, how many times have I used the word “random” and “appear?” But that’s exactly what’s happening. Stuff appears or doesn’t appear, or randomly does something else. I feel like a guinea pig in an experiment where they’re testing the effects of negative reinforcement, let’s see what happens if we take the key away… It’s 20 years late, but whoever you are, and if you wanna know what the effect is, I’ll tell you the effect: IT’S FUCKING PISSING ME OFF!”

“You wanna know how I feel now? I’m fucking enraged! You don’t just change the rules like that!! This is shit sauce! This is Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde standards! And I’m still playing it. I don’t even know why. I guess I can’t resist being able to say “I beat Little Red Hood!” And you know what? I don’t expect a good ending either. Why work hard on creating an elaborate ending when you make the game so hard to figure out that there’s not a chance in hell anyone would get that far? In fact, I expect a shitty ending! A fucking loathsome, ass-sucking SHIT HEAP of an ending!”

“Oh! My dear Little Red Hood! Thank you for your coming!”

9 – Spiderman (Episode 24)

Summary: The Nerd plays various Spiderman games with Kyle Justin (the guitarist in the intro) who plays the role of Spiderman.

Favorite Quotes:

Spiderman: “THIS GAME SUCKS MY SPIDER BALLS!”

The Nerd: You delivered pizzas before though, right?

Spider-Man: No, no, no, I never did that.

The Nerd: Yeah, you did in the movie, Spider-Man 2.

Spider-Man: I did that at one point, but I don’t want people fucking knowing about that.

8 – Action 52 (Episode 90)

Summary: This episode clocks in at just under a half an hour. He attempts to review all 52 games contained this half baked compilation. However, the 52nd game, Cheetahmen, is covered in a separate, following review.

Favorite Quotes:

Critical Bypass – it’s critical that you bypass this game!

I guess I can’t say I’m really too excited over playing a game called Alfredo, also known as Alfred N the Fettuc

Here comes Mrs. Tits, jumping like she’s on the moon!

If only Mico-Mike would slow the fuck down

I guess this guy doesn’t understand the concept of a hooker – you’re supposed to fuck her not fuck her up

7 – Dracula (Episode 57)

Summary: A Halloween special where he plays various Dracula games.

Favorite Quotes:

Game: Use 1 or 2 words only

Nerd: Oh okay, I’ll give you two words: fuck you!

Game: Does not know how to “fuck” something

Who would call Dracula “my man?”

“It’s like somebody took a shit and buried it and then someone else decided to dig it up. It’s like what do you expect?”

“Fred Fush.. Fred Fuch… FRED FUCKS!? Oh my God it’s Fred Fucks…”

“Is that clip even from the movie? I don’t know, maybe it’s from Bill and Ted”

“Why do so many games have so many fucking bats!?”

6 – Bible Games (Episode 17)

(I couldn’t find a title card for the first volume, so I used the card for Bible Games 2)

Summary: He mostly focuses on unlicensed Christian based NES games for his first Christmas special.

Favorite Quotes:

“Is that how Noah did it? He did it all by himself by picking animals up and carrying them in the ark? Well according to Bible Adventures, that’s how it happened.”

“Ugggh, take that you monkey fuck – you’re going in the ark!”

“What kind of picture is this? Moses’ mom carrying baby Moses, carrying a block of cheese, carrying a guy, carrying a spear. I’d never thought I’d see that.”

“The only way to have any fun at all is to throw baby Moses in the water, and then go explore the level without him. This is a weird game. What other game could you say, “I just threw baby Moses in the water”. For some reason, I just can’t stop saying, “baby Moses”. Baby Moses, baby Moses. When you finish the level, it says, “Good work! But you forgot baby Moses.” I didn’t forget him, I just didn’t want him.”

“Look, a snowman. Watch this. I’m gonna blow his fucking head off. Yeah, that snowman’s dead as shit.”

“It’s The Book of Genesis on Sega Genesis. And the soundtrack… is Genesis… I’m just making this up.”

“Now, let’s try Flight to Egypt… It’s bad.”

5 – Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde Re-Revisited (Episode 95)

Summary: Unhappy with his original review of the game, he goes back and reviews it a second time with a more in depth analysis.

Favorite Quotes:

“I can say the game is very true to the original title of the book, The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, because this game is certainly a very strange case, indeed!”

“What did the good doctor do to make everybody so upset? I can see the townspeople sittin’ at the local pub, talkin’ about him all day. “Yeah, ya see Jekyll, ya see him? Ya see him walkin’, he just keeps fuckin’ walking! I don’t like him. Think he’s an asshole. He wears his underwear backwards. He has eyeballs for testicles!”

“I killed a bee?! I killed something! The only thing you can kill in the whole game, and it’s a little tiny stupid FUCKING BEE! “

“Oh, great. Now there’s birds shitting into the piss fountain. This is perfect. Look at this picture. This sums up the whole game.”

“ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON! YOU RUINED MY LIFE!”

Skeleton of Robert Louis Stevenson: Fuck you… I am the devil! MUHAHAHA! Now go play some Dr. Jekyll and Mr. HYDE!!

*Goes on for five minutes about how it’s actually the best game ever made* Or, you could just say, “THE GAME FUCKING SUCKS.”

4 – Batman Part 1 (Episode 52)

Summary: Dressed like Batman, the Nerd reviews various Batman games before getting captured by the Joker (Mike Matei) at the end of the episode (which leads into Batman part 2).

Favorite Quotes:

“The game sucks, gotta give it the Batman punishment. I’m Batman.“

“Batman Forever for the Super Nintendo. Now we’re in deep shit, because this game is triceratops testicles.”

“You try every possible combination of buttons until you find that Select shoots this wire out of your crotch. That’s real random, right? The SELECT button?”

“Look at that, chainsaw to the dick!”

LIKE THIS IS FUCKED BEYOND BELIEF! It’s like, the controls in this game are something you do for a cheat code, not a BASIC MOVE that you have to do in order to play the game! Why’d they program it in such an ASSININE, BALL-BRAINED, COCKAMAMIE, RIDICULOUS FASHION?! It’s like, JEEZ, there’s four buttons’ right on front of the controller! LIKE THAT’S NOT ENOUGH TO WORK WITH?! Instead, they have to, like, program it, like, all into like, weird kinda crazy button combinations and shit?! It’s like, what were they thinking?! It’s like, Up is jump? Select for the grappling hook? Select shouldn’t even be part of the game! Select should be like, for the menus or something. I mean, jeez, like were they trying to just ruin this game? Just flat out, just fuck it up?! Well, they DID! Batman Forever, it sucked back then, and it sucks forever!

3 – Wizard of Oz (Episode 43)

Summary: He reviews The Wizard of Oz on the Super Nintendo as the lion (who is played by Mike Matei) joins in.

Favorite Quotes:

“Why does Glinda have such disregard for Dorothy’s safety? Having the ruby slippers makes her the target of the Wicked Witch. It’s not like Dorothy asked for the damn slippers. Also, why doesn’t she just tell her she can click her heels and go home right away? Fucking bitch.”

“Then, there’s lemons dropping down. You know, like in the lyrics of “Somewhere over the Rainbow?” The lemon drops? That’s fuckin’ desperate.”

“Remember the scene from the movie where Dorothy kicks the shit out of a giant crow wearing a vest?”

“Now, Tin Man, what a miserable fuck. He raises the shittiness to a whole new level. He can’t duck or jump at all. That fucking helps, right? Why not make a character in a platforming jumping game that can’t jump? HE’S USELESS! A COMPLETE WASTE!”

The Nerd: Now, here’s how the lion works in the game: now, as far as the attacks go, he, has like this weird bitch slap.

Cowardly Lion: With a nuck and a ruff and a fuck and a f-fuck!

The Nerd: Hey man, did you just swear?

Cowardly Lion: Uh, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, fuck you, fuck you, dick, dick, dick! 

Cowardly Lion: Oh, is that the Witch? Is that the witch? She’s a bitch, not a witch! Yeah! Now, Shove her broom right up her ass! Fuck that bitch! Fuck that bitch! Fuck! Wicked Witch of the East, Wicked Witch of the West, Wicked Witch of my ass.

Cowardly Lion: Yeah, what’s that green thing?

The Nerd: That green- I don’t know what th–

The Nerd: Oh, that big emerald is a door?

Cowardly Lion: Yeah, yeah, what are you? Stupid?

2 – Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties (Episode 74)

Summary: The AVGN looks for the worst 3DO game ever and chooses Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties – a primitive adult oriented choose your own adventure styled game.

Favorite Quotes:

“That was its slogan, REAL, because it’s a real piece of shit.”

“Get it?” No I don’t get it!”

“Why would there ever be a floating head of a panda next to someone’s bed?!”

“Get out of bed John! Yeah, great concept. Every game should begin with two minutes of some guy’s mom trying to get him out of bed.”

“Oh, so is he a plumber? Well, the game’s called Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties, so I guess it makes sense: he’s a plumber, and I don’t see him wearing a tie… WHAT THE FUCK?! You can’t even trust the damn title!”

“TAKE YOUR DAMN CLOTHES OFF!!!”

A fucking chicken mask! An upside-down fucking chicken mask!

Well, sport? You think you can handle this choice without getting the lowest score in the history of this game?

What, there’s somebody else who played this shit?

There’s dogs clapping! I didn’t even know that dogs were fucking watching!

IT’S NOT… FUCKING… NIGHT!

Yeah, you know what? Gimme something different. Gimme a different fucking game. 

1 – Winter Games (Episode 84)

Summary: The Nerd reviews Winter Games and decides that it has some of the worst controls he’s ever encountered in a video game.

Favorite Quotes:

If you have a problem with Happy Holidays, then Happy Shut The Fuck Up.

Alright, the game boots up and the runner comes to light an Olympic torch. Yeah, cool. Can I skip it?

The first event is called Hot Dog Aerials. I wonder what that could be. Oh, Ski Jump. Okay. Why is called Hot Dog Aerials?

Next is Speed Skating. I’m surprised it’s not called Cat Tit Bingo.

How do you like that music? Listen. Exquisite. Isn’t that the most beautiful, radiant sound that has ever been blessed upon your soul? Its exuberant tonality harmoniously blends the dying squeals of electronic goats, with the melodic rapture of diarrhea bubbling from a coyote’s crap-hole.

You ever watch a movie where someone’s pretending to play a video game, but you can tell they’re just acting, they’re just go like this? They’re playing Winter Games.

Who programmed this thing? Maybe it was Fred Fuchs.

THIS IS A BLIZZARD OF BALLS!

BURN, MOTHERFUCKER, BURN!

These transcripts come from the AVGN wikia here: http://avgn.wikia.com/wiki/Category:Transcripts  – Thanks and great job!

The Sony PSP is STILL Getting New Releases!

It’s mind blowing that the PSP is still getting new releases!

The Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky The Second Chapter, developed by Falcom and published Xseed in North America, just came out a couple of days ago on PlayStation Network. It’s also on Steam as well if you’re interested.

Summon Night 5 (above) and Class of Heroes 3 (below) are scheduled for release and are localized by Gaijinworks, which is headed by Victor Ireland.

Victor Ireland previously worked for Working Designs and localized some of the best RPGs for the Turbo Duo, Sega CD, Sega Saturn, and PS1/2.

Even though many people think the Vita is dead in the West, it looks like it will get the same continued support as its predecessor and will likely outlive the Nintendo 3ds and Wii U (I’d love it if they had long lifespans, but it seems like the upcoming NX will eat their sales and support if judging Nintendo’s past), especially if it’s Sony’s last handheld ever. Even this year alone Vita has had at least 17 physical North American releases while Wii U has had around 6. (Judging by a quick scan at Gamerankings)

Long live the PSP and Vita!